Is your boss playing favorites?
Does your boss have a favorite at work… that isn’t you? You know what I’m talking about. Your boss makes “googly” eyes at the favorite. The two are routinely spotted whispering together, plotting. And when the time comes to choose someone for one of the better tasks, you know who your boss is going to pick and it won’t be you.
Here’s the most frightening element about favorites at work, they wield more power today than ever before. Why you might ask? Simple. Leaders (and organizations for that matter) are avoiding any and all risk at every turn. They don’t want to take a chance on anything and anyone who is “unknown.” Our friends in the job market will attest to that. Consider the following recent survey that was conducted by researchers at Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business. In polling senior executives at large U.S. corporations they found:
• 92% have seen favoritism at play in employee promotions.
• 84% have seen it at their own companies.
• 23% said they practiced favoritism themselves.
• 29% said their most recent promotion considered only a single candidate.
• 56% said when more than one candidate was considered, they already knew who they wanted to promote before deliberations.
• 96% report promoting the pre-selected individual.
Are you getting this? If there’s an open job, over half the time the boss has picked a favorite, and if they have, it’s a virtual lock that the favorite is gonna get it. So what can we do? Simple. Become the favorite.
Steps to Becoming the Favorite:
- Let your boss know what you are up to – Part of becoming the favorite is keeping yourself “front and center” in your boss’ mind AND not a source of worry or frustration. How do you do that? A simple way is to provide your boss a quick status update at the end of every week on things are progressing. If they know what you are up to, they are more likely to trust you.
- Make your boss’ life easier – Anticipate what your boss needs and try to meet those needs without being asked. Be proactive in putting out your boss’ fires and they will love you for it.
- Make your boss look good – Get kudos and recognition and then pull your boss into the spotlight. Making your boss look like he or she is doing a great job is a fantastic way to get in his or her good graces.
So, what should you not do? Pretty simple, the opposite of everything I mentioned above. In addition, keeping quiet and silent, hoping to be discovered is a sure-fire way to get lost at work. I did a whole month on that particular dysfunction so check it out ( “I’m not getting noticed at work” ).
Next up: Getting your boss to like you – What are tried and true do’s and don’ts? You might be surprised. Golf may not be such a good strategy after all… particularly if your golf game is anything like mine. Then again, I’m great at making others look really really good.
And in case you’d rather listen than read, here’s my recent radio segment on “Playing Favorites”. Course, I give that to you at the end of the post. Tricky or disorganized… you be the judge.
Listen: “When the Boss Plays Favorites at Work”
Related posts:
Filed under: I Don't Think My Boss Likes Me, Managing Professional Relationships
14 Responses to "Is your boss playing favorites?"
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Therapist, professor, consultant and radio host, Brandon Smith brings an upbeat, witty approach to the challenges of workplace health and dysfunction.
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Dysfunction of the Month – It’s Not Fair!
Brandon, I really enjoy your posts! Very helpful advice through a witty and concise delivery. So glad to have this way to keep in touch post MEMBA. I hope all is well.
Maureen,
Thanks for following but more importantly, thanks for your kind words. Now I’ve just got to try to live up to them! Let me know if there is ever anything I can do to help you… that’s what I’m here for!
who wants to be a kiss ass.
Barb, I get it. Trust me. The point is to have your performance set you apart.
It’s painful to see that there is a fave. Perhaps through this agony God is telling you to start your own business and leave the comfort zone in the office. Or….hey, if you are a single woman why don’t you find a well-financed boyfriend, get married and give up your job?
Life’s definitely too short to not be somebody’s favorite!
[...] There are no favorites [...]
Don’t be so sure that it has no negative effects outside of the manager himself.
If this particular subordinate is a favorite, he has a new found power over his peers. I know this from experience. Me and this other guy work under the boss. I diligently do my job but this guy constantly shows me up.
He has an unfair advantage of starting early so he can get all his ducks in a row and brandish me with updates like I’m too irresponsible to figure out where we are when I come in. He does all that brown nosing stuff and it actually works. Next thing I know, the underlings are coming to him and not me. Then he begins giving me orders outside the bounds of my job, resulting in daily and weekly tasks being pushed off.
If there is someone on the phone, holding paperwork, or has a question/need; his first instinct is to dump it on me. And that begins to spread like a disease. Soon, my boss and everybody else starts doing this. And nobody believes me when I say I’m overstuffed.
And every time I have a genuine complaint, the other guy turns around and questions the difficulty of my day. “I do 19 things at once, you do only one” is an actual quote I got from him.
I have a newborn at home but his kid lives far away, so he can devote his off time to making calls and scheduling things. It isn’t fair.
I hear ya. The part of your comment that stands out the most for me is that regardless of your efforts, you aren’t being heard. That’s concerning. I would encourage you to start looking for another role: either in the same organization or a different one. If that isn’t an option, I would encourage you to go back to your manager and share some of your experiences with this coworker giving your directives. Good luck and let me know if I can help in any way.
thank you so much for these stories.
It is absolutely my pleasure!
What if…..
The boss already has you pegged as a snitch, a whiner, a spy etc. Based SOLEY on reports from yis favorites. 2. Already has demoted your position /duties….as a “punishment”…..& directs others to behave negatively towards you and 3. Has actually Told you to never talk to him or email him any concerns…and has shut his opem door policy to you……all, again, based soley on rumors of others.? (To cover their own inadequecies….) 4. Boss has removed himself from my chain of command. 5. Am warned not to complain about ANYTHING…or disiplinary measures will continue. *see #2. Keep in mind I have not done ANYTHING or said to warrant this treatment.esentially, I have been blackballed. I am never late, never ever called out or missed a day. I have no write ups….etc. I follow the rules…and i do my job…and yet boss only listens to and reacts based on what he is told by others (who do so to deflect attention away from themselves …
Ps. I’ve been told that the boss refers to me as “radioactive” to my coeorkers behind my back….and am “the joke” in my abscence. I am thijking this is all very toxic. Boss also plays fst and mlooee with payroll issues but knowd nothing will come of any complaints from anyone. Whistle blowers know this. Your take ?
Thank you…
**plays fast and loose with payroll…